Covid, when we think of it, only the dreadful and untimely deaths of so many people around the entire globe come foremost to our minds, which are then accompanied by innumerable other overlooked issues that the pandemic has prompted.
However, it'll be wrong for me to not say that the pandemic has showered me with at least some amount of benevolence. The pandemic shut us all down confined into the same old walls of our homes. But isn't that something to be grateful about for those of us who were blessed enough to be able to do that, while so many people around us had to leave the comfort of a home either as patients, doctors, or just being stuck in a foreign place for so, so long?
As I see it for myself, the covid-induced lockdown of 2020 gave me a much needed time-off from the world. I had my ups and downs being stuck at home, alike the experience of many kids with unhealthy family situations. But looking back, through all the times that I felt terrible and anxious, I had to look after myself and pull myself up after every meltdown. It makes me feel proud of myself, for being there for myself.
I suddenly had all this extra time to spend with myself and doing things that I'd never have done beforehand, and I didn't even realize how slowly but all at once, I was consumed by thoughts flooding through my nerves. I had no other choice but to allow my thoughts to flow and to allow myself to feel every emotion, rather than just distracting myself with superficial stuff.
So I guess somewhere along this whole year-long break that did drive us all at least half insane at some point, I also found myself amidst the process without realizing that I did.
If I had to say one good thing that covid did for me, it would be the acceptance and empathy that I learnt to give myself like I always tried to give to others.
I fell and cried and screamed out of anger, but I also got up and laughed and talked to myself. I started loving myself and being accountable for my actions too, rather than blaming it on random circumstances.
When things were changing in the world around me, things started changing inside of me, too.
By Ananya Dutta.
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